Take back the Rainbows!

     So, as I am working at the computer today I am listening to Internet Radio as usual.  My "Channel" consists of Country Music, Heavy Metal, Gospel and some Rock plus a couple of Talk Radio Channels.  (Yeah I know, wild assortment huh?)  Just as I am starting a new paragraph, a Talkie program comes on and this guy (Matt Somefinoranother) is railing on and on about HOMOSEXUALS!   He is talking about how it is a sin against God and Nature and how, if all good God fearing people type persons will only keep fighting, then one day this abomination will be wiped from the face of the planet! 
     You know what folks?  I am 125% in agreement with this guy!  I mean just because (Historically and Bible-ly) speaking Homosexuals have been around for a long time.  (100K+ or 6000ish years depending on who you talk to.) does not mean that we can't wipe out this horrible scourge that has done so much to damage the Proper way of things.  Never mind that acceptance of Same Sex Relationships is at an all time high with more and more states (And a President) getting behind it.  If we good upstanding folks just keep pressing forward, then one day everyone in the world will be Straight!

Sing it with me, "Somewhere over the rainbow..."  Hah bet you did!

       Let us look at all of the evils brought about by these dreaded creatures!  First of all, they didn't just taste the rainbow, they stole it!  Thanks to these Godless creatures, you can't see a pretty rainbow sticker on someone's car without thinking that person is Gay.  I mean, what if they just like rainbows?  It is getting to the point where a Straight person can't have a rainbow sticker, t-shirt etc without everyone automatically thinking he is Gay.  I want my rainbows back damn it!

This is going to look Fabulous!

     Then just think about all of the jobs stolen from good hard working opposite sex loving peeples.  How many fashion designers, hairdressers and interior decorators do you know that are Gay?  Now when you factor in all of these jobs that exist in the world and the percentage of employees who are gay then it adds up to a hell of  a lot of people out of work because of Gayness.  See, wipe out Homosexuality and you solve the World's Unemployment problems.

I just like Owls so sue me.

       But all of those things pale next to the greatest threat these Gay peeples pose to the world.  Not only do they steal our jobs and steal our Rainbow, they also steal the very words we speak!  That is right folks, they steal our language!  I mean, think about it.  You can't say, "Have a Gay old time anymore" without people wondering.  You can't say, "What a queer fellow" anymore without people making assumptions about the person you are talking about.  You can't even talk about going out to get a certain bundle of sticks without people yelling at you.  Just how many more poor innocent words have these peeples stolen from us? 
     So you see, Matt Whathisname was right.  Homosexuality is a threat to everything we hold dear and a threat to our very economy!  So rise up!  Take back your sparkly rainbows!  Take back very old words that have probably had many different meanings!  Take back our ancient straight (Greeks "Cough" Romans "Cough" Egyptians "Cough Cough")  Look at someone who is a bit off (Wait why is everyone looking at me?) and say without fear, "That Queer Fellow is having a truly Gay time of it all isn't he?"  With your help, this scourge can be wiped out...or at least the people trying to wipe it out won't be alone in their (Ahem) queer ways.

End of Rant