Random Act of Thoughtiness.

     You ever been wandering along, minding your own business and suddenly you are violently attacked by a stray thought?  The attack is so fast and so vicious that you are left standing there thinking, "What the fudge just happened?"  Well, I wish to report that I was violently accosted by a stray thought while preparing my wife's dinner tonight.
     You see, there I was skipping merrily through the kitchen.  (Yes I skip in the kitchen, doesn't everyone?)  Suddenly, just as I pouring the steamed broccoli on the plate, BAM it hit me!  A wild, feral stray thought leaped (lept looped?) out of nowhere and jumped inside my head.  Suddenly, I had a wild "What if God really does hate homosexuals?"  With it's vicious work done, the stray thought moved on, leaving me in shambles (well actually in kitchen, but hey).
    For a stray thought, it is an interesting one.  I mean, what if the WBC peeples are right?  What if God really does hate Gays and Lesbians?  What if they are DOOMED to Hell because they choose to love someone with the same body parts?  It seems kind of farfetched to me, but hey lets roll with it!
     So if God really does hate Homosexuals, we have to ask ourselves why?  Why is being attracted to, making the beast with two backs (Three backs, four backs) with and oftentimes deciding to spend the rest of your life with such a horrible sin that they are doomed to heckfire for all Eternity?  I came up with two possible reasons.
     Reason One:  Fashion Sense-  I think maybe God doesn't like having his chosen Shepherds  competing with other people for gaudy gowns, fancy sparkly hats and extremely flouncy gowns.  I mean, look at the Spokesman for God on Earth, Mr. Pope.  His daily outfits are pretty darned spiffy and his fancy dress...Fabulous!  The only real competition these men have when it comes to gaudy, flashy, flouncy outfits are Gay Men.  We've all seen Siegfried and Roy, Right?  The Pope and his priests have some serious competition from Dame Elton John too.  So I see God maybe getting his angry face on over that.
     Reason B (wait is that right?):  Making Babies!  One of God's big shout outs was "Go ye forth and multiply!"  I mean, that's what he made us for right?  We were put here on Earth to worship him, occasionally kick some heathen butt and make babies.  So you can see where Homosexuals (at least wayyy back when) might have gotten on his bad side.  If Adam is to busy getting busy with Steve, there ain't no babies happening.  No babies, no peeples.  No peeples, empty planet. 
     Course if that one is true, then why does God still hate Homosexuals?  I mean, if you read the news or watch the news, you see more gay couples having babies than straight people.  Men are having surrogate mothers carry their baby and women are getting artificially impregnated while all of them are in same sex relationships. 
     Shoot (Bang)(Ah you got me!), Scientists are actually working on a way for same sex partners to actually produce an offspring all by themselves  (Well okay the Guys still need a surrogate.) by taking genetic material from the two partners.  Then they work some scientific whammies on it stick it in a egg thats been scrubbed clean.  They give it a little shock and poof it starts to divide.  Hells, one group in Sweden is actually working on an artificial womb that can actually carry a fetus to full term with no Momma.  So see Gay Folk can now make babies just like all of these good normal folk from places like Westboro Babtist Church!
     So if that was the reason God hated homosexuals and they have fixed that problem then why would WBC and its ilk still claim that God hates Gays?  I have an answer to that one too.  He's just behind on his reading.  He is a very busy entity keeping birds in the air and Homosexuals from tainting our store supplies (Don't ask, just accept and move on.) and making sure gravity still sucks.  I am sure that once he gets some down time, he will get caught up on all the magazines and newspapers sitting beside his recliner.
     All we have to do is have some patience.  Once God gets caught up, he'll see that most homosexuals aren't that snappy a dresser and that homosexuals are now making babies.  I am confident that when he sees this, he will no longer hate Homosexuals.  So take comfort that one day soon, the members of the WBC will be able to finally relax and not spend so much time on the road picketing funerals and such.  With all of the Homosexuals out there, they must be tired.

End of Rant