People
are always ragging on boxes and such that have huge blatant labels
that strike anyone who has even an ounce of common sense as
completely obvious and even a bit stupid. Coffee cups labeled
“Warning: Contents may be hot” and plastic bags with “Warning:
Bag is not a toy” stenciled on it are just a few examples of this
sort of thing. Most people look at these carefully worded warnings
and go, “Well Duh!” and move on with their lives while pondering
why some person/company took the time and money to put the words
there in the first place.
Now
everyone has heard the much repeated (Usually highly inaccurately)
story of the little old lady who made millions because she “didn't
know her coffee was hot.” (This story has reached the pinnacle of
urban legend and has been somewhat distorted with the telling and
retelling so I would advise people actually look up the exact facts
of the story before passing judgment.) People hear these stories
about how people who seem to lack any form of common sense have done
stupid things which then prompted new labeling. They wonder if there
are people out there who really are that dense.
I
have never even once pondered the base stupidity of the human animal
because I have seen so many shining examples of it in my 50 or so
years (But enough about my family.) that stick with me to this day.
During my brief stint working at a Harry and David Kiosk during the
Xmas Holidays, I was served a very healthy helping of just how
unobservant and stupid people can be.
I
was in charge of receiving shipments, doing inventory and organizing
the stock room so that the other employees could readily access the
necessary stock when needed. One of these duties included unloading
the delivery trucks, breaking down the pallets of product and
transferring it to the stock room. One early and very cold morning,
I was breaking down a pallet and on the very bottom of the massive
pallet filled with pears, apples and other heavy objects was three or
four layers of boxes labeled thus:
Wats it say, huh huh?! |
(Side
note: The little white specks are snow. Told you it was cold out
there.)
Now
please note two obvious labels. One states that the contents are
glass and fragile. The other indicates the product cases should be
stacked a specific way. Big bold black print that is kind of hard to
miss right? Well, guess what? Not only were these fragile
containers packed at the very bottom of a heavy pallet of goods, but
every single one of them (50+ boxes) were stacked with the “This
side up” label on the bottom. Yeah, you heard me all 50 boxes were
stacked exactly opposite of how they were supposed to be.
So
why do we need big ugly labels stating directions that most of us
find stupid or at least silly? It is certainly not to stop people
from doing stupid stuff because my above example proves that doesn't
work. Stupid, unobservant people will keep doing the same stupid
shift every time no matter how many times they are reminded not to.
To quote a great philosopher, “You can't fix stupid.” No the
labels aren't to help and protect the stupid. Instead they are there
to protect the rest of us when stupid people do stupid stuff and wind
up getting hurt or causing mass destruction.
In
today's Lawsuit happy environment where people sue at the drop of a
hat, companies are spending billions of dollars just to keep the
stupid from coming back to bite them in the butt. So the next time
someone suffocates their goldfish because they thought a plastic bag
was a toy, the company that made the bag can say, “Whups, you can't
sue us because we said on the bag that it wasn't a toy.” To
people with any sort of sense, these steps seem silly, but as my
Daddy always said, “Common sense Isn't.” (for those who have
trouble following Redneck, add another “common” to the end of
that sentence for it to make sense.)
So
the next time you see a label on your favorite food or beverage that
makes you shake your head in shame, take heart in the fact that
somewhere out there someone read that same label about not drinking
gasoline and took a swig anyways. Who knows, it might make you feel
better about yourself.
End of Rant
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