Random Act of Thoughtiness.

     You ever been wandering along, minding your own business and suddenly you are violently attacked by a stray thought?  The attack is so fast and so vicious that you are left standing there thinking, "What the fudge just happened?"  Well, I wish to report that I was violently accosted by a stray thought while preparing my wife's dinner tonight.
     You see, there I was skipping merrily through the kitchen.  (Yes I skip in the kitchen, doesn't everyone?)  Suddenly, just as I pouring the steamed broccoli on the plate, BAM it hit me!  A wild, feral stray thought leaped (lept looped?) out of nowhere and jumped inside my head.  Suddenly, I had a wild "What if God really does hate homosexuals?"  With it's vicious work done, the stray thought moved on, leaving me in shambles (well actually in kitchen, but hey).
    For a stray thought, it is an interesting one.  I mean, what if the WBC peeples are right?  What if God really does hate Gays and Lesbians?  What if they are DOOMED to Hell because they choose to love someone with the same body parts?  It seems kind of farfetched to me, but hey lets roll with it!
     So if God really does hate Homosexuals, we have to ask ourselves why?  Why is being attracted to, making the beast with two backs (Three backs, four backs) with and oftentimes deciding to spend the rest of your life with such a horrible sin that they are doomed to heckfire for all Eternity?  I came up with two possible reasons.
     Reason One:  Fashion Sense-  I think maybe God doesn't like having his chosen Shepherds  competing with other people for gaudy gowns, fancy sparkly hats and extremely flouncy gowns.  I mean, look at the Spokesman for God on Earth, Mr. Pope.  His daily outfits are pretty darned spiffy and his fancy dress...Fabulous!  The only real competition these men have when it comes to gaudy, flashy, flouncy outfits are Gay Men.  We've all seen Siegfried and Roy, Right?  The Pope and his priests have some serious competition from Dame Elton John too.  So I see God maybe getting his angry face on over that.
     Reason B (wait is that right?):  Making Babies!  One of God's big shout outs was "Go ye forth and multiply!"  I mean, that's what he made us for right?  We were put here on Earth to worship him, occasionally kick some heathen butt and make babies.  So you can see where Homosexuals (at least wayyy back when) might have gotten on his bad side.  If Adam is to busy getting busy with Steve, there ain't no babies happening.  No babies, no peeples.  No peeples, empty planet. 
     Course if that one is true, then why does God still hate Homosexuals?  I mean, if you read the news or watch the news, you see more gay couples having babies than straight people.  Men are having surrogate mothers carry their baby and women are getting artificially impregnated while all of them are in same sex relationships. 
     Shoot (Bang)(Ah you got me!), Scientists are actually working on a way for same sex partners to actually produce an offspring all by themselves  (Well okay the Guys still need a surrogate.) by taking genetic material from the two partners.  Then they work some scientific whammies on it stick it in a egg thats been scrubbed clean.  They give it a little shock and poof it starts to divide.  Hells, one group in Sweden is actually working on an artificial womb that can actually carry a fetus to full term with no Momma.  So see Gay Folk can now make babies just like all of these good normal folk from places like Westboro Babtist Church!
     So if that was the reason God hated homosexuals and they have fixed that problem then why would WBC and its ilk still claim that God hates Gays?  I have an answer to that one too.  He's just behind on his reading.  He is a very busy entity keeping birds in the air and Homosexuals from tainting our store supplies (Don't ask, just accept and move on.) and making sure gravity still sucks.  I am sure that once he gets some down time, he will get caught up on all the magazines and newspapers sitting beside his recliner.
     All we have to do is have some patience.  Once God gets caught up, he'll see that most homosexuals aren't that snappy a dresser and that homosexuals are now making babies.  I am confident that when he sees this, he will no longer hate Homosexuals.  So take comfort that one day soon, the members of the WBC will be able to finally relax and not spend so much time on the road picketing funerals and such.  With all of the Homosexuals out there, they must be tired.

End of Rant

Just a thought that made me go "Hmmm...Snicker"

     Okay before I post the brief rant, let me preface it with the following disclaimer, "I make no claims to understand the stock market.  I make no claim that the President/Government's actions/stands are good or bad for the economy.  This is just an observation about general human nature."  Okay, got all that?  ONWARD!

First:

http://news.yahoo.com/stocks-gain-boosted-p-g-starbucks-earnings-153530667--finance.html

Second:

http://news.yahoo.com/nasdaq-stocks-posting-largest-percentage-174219887.html

     Here we have two separate articles.  Both about the stock market.  One good news and one bad news kind of articles.  Read them and then get back to me.  Don't rush, I can wait.

     Back?  Okay good.  Like I said in the disclaimer, I make no claims to understanding the basic mechanics behind stocks/stock market/stock fluctuations etc.  I can barely do basic math, let alone understand the convoluted numbers behind the Cult of Stocks.  Numbers, I don't do.  However I do comment on human nature.

     Okay so for the sake of argument, lets take these articles on face value.  Article one says that things are both hunky and dorey.  Thanks to the Coffee Place that I hate, stocks are doing better than they have for years and years.  YAY!  Article two says certain stocks are doing super crappy and that things are going to hell in a handbasket.  With me so far?

     Now here is where human nature comes into comical play.  On the negative news article, all blame is placed upon our ruling president and all of his actions.  This evil incarnate man and his Socialist policies (Which aren't really Socialist IMNSHO but hey.) are destroying the Amurrican Way Of Life. (Huh spells AWOL wonder if there is something to that?)  Down with Obama! Angry Villagers gather!

     On the positive article, things are doing good.  Stocks are up, kittens are purring and puppies are dancing.  So what do you see in the comments section?  Basically "Well, maybe things are going better and looking up but Obama has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with it.  All of these events (Gas prices going down, stocks going up etc) happened magically despite the fact that Obama is in office.  

     It all boils down to Cognitive Dissonance (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance Link supplied for those who have not heard the term before) and the magic of the "logic" that occurs when it happens to people.  Basically, people become so convinced of their beliefs that even when evidence comes forth that completely disproves their beliefs, they refuse to admit it.  Instead they claim meddling by "opposing forces" to distort the "truth."

     You see is all the time in Conspiracy Theories where no matter how much hard evidence is brought forward to prove or disprove the events in question (Moon Landing, 9/11 and now Sandy Hook), people refuse to believe it because they "know" the truth.  

     People "Know" that Obama is the bad guy.  They "know" all Republicans/Democrats are evil money grubbing puppets (Wait, might be something to that last one.)  and as the comments in these two articles prove, no amount of evidence will convince them otherwise.  What does that say about Humans and about Americans in general?

End of Rant

Sometimes, just sometimes you don't have to be an Ass.

Gimmee two tickets to paradise!

     Now most of you fine folks know that one of the ways I make my living is kavetching about life, the universe and everything in between.  I have written many articles and blogs about the disturbing decline of the fine art of customer service.  Hopefully all of you have been entertained by the different blogs on the subject here and other places.  However, I also consider myself to be a somewhat fair main and when positive experiences happen, I try to chronicle them as well.  Well, today is one of those rare days where a positive experience happened so here goes!

A slice of Heaven.

     So after months of planning and plotting and general looking forward to sort of stuff, we arrived at our Condo for some fun in the sun and some Theme Park hopping.  (NVM where but Mouse Ears are very prevalent.)  We get to our suite and I immediately notice little things that annoy me.  Nothing major (Well except for the melted toaster...Yes Melted) but when taken in their entirety they were annoying since we pay a hefty yearly maintenance fee to fix this sort of stuff.
     The next morning, I walk down (Well up actually) to the front desk and talk to the Concierge.  I explain to him all of the problems with the room and tell him that I am annoyed.  Now folks, way to many times when I have done this sort of thing, manager types get all defensive and deny anything is wrong.  I have even had a few imply that it was all my fault.  Needless to say I was expecting another fight on my hands.
     To my complete and utter surprise, Mr. Wolf was very nice and polite.  He seemed sincerely bothered by the fact that our unit (Keeping in mind we are owners not renters) was not to our liking.  He addressed my complaints and offered three different options to address them.  I listened and chose Option B.  I thanked him for his attention and kindness and left.  Problems solved with absolutely no muss or fuss,
     Like I have said so many times in the past, it seems like the concept of customer service is heading the way of the Dodo.  No one seems to care whether or not the customer is happy or satisfied.  The attitude seems to be one of "Fark you, we don't care.  Someone else will come along."  Mr. Wolf satisfied my complaints and made me feel like some people still give a damn.  Definitely a nice way to start our vacation.  Thank you, Mr. Wolf. 

End of...Non-Rant

Yummy Toast!

PS To Rant:  As an amusing aside, when I went down to speak to Mr. Wolf, I completely forgot to mention the thing that bothered me the most, melted toaster.  But when I got back to the room, I remembered and called the front desk.  I mentioned my conversation with Wolf and had a new toaster in my room in less than half an hour.

Take back the Rainbows!

     So, as I am working at the computer today I am listening to Internet Radio as usual.  My "Channel" consists of Country Music, Heavy Metal, Gospel and some Rock plus a couple of Talk Radio Channels.  (Yeah I know, wild assortment huh?)  Just as I am starting a new paragraph, a Talkie program comes on and this guy (Matt Somefinoranother) is railing on and on about HOMOSEXUALS!   He is talking about how it is a sin against God and Nature and how, if all good God fearing people type persons will only keep fighting, then one day this abomination will be wiped from the face of the planet! 
     You know what folks?  I am 125% in agreement with this guy!  I mean just because (Historically and Bible-ly) speaking Homosexuals have been around for a long time.  (100K+ or 6000ish years depending on who you talk to.) does not mean that we can't wipe out this horrible scourge that has done so much to damage the Proper way of things.  Never mind that acceptance of Same Sex Relationships is at an all time high with more and more states (And a President) getting behind it.  If we good upstanding folks just keep pressing forward, then one day everyone in the world will be Straight!

Sing it with me, "Somewhere over the rainbow..."  Hah bet you did!

       Let us look at all of the evils brought about by these dreaded creatures!  First of all, they didn't just taste the rainbow, they stole it!  Thanks to these Godless creatures, you can't see a pretty rainbow sticker on someone's car without thinking that person is Gay.  I mean, what if they just like rainbows?  It is getting to the point where a Straight person can't have a rainbow sticker, t-shirt etc without everyone automatically thinking he is Gay.  I want my rainbows back damn it!

This is going to look Fabulous!

     Then just think about all of the jobs stolen from good hard working opposite sex loving peeples.  How many fashion designers, hairdressers and interior decorators do you know that are Gay?  Now when you factor in all of these jobs that exist in the world and the percentage of employees who are gay then it adds up to a hell of  a lot of people out of work because of Gayness.  See, wipe out Homosexuality and you solve the World's Unemployment problems.

I just like Owls so sue me.

       But all of those things pale next to the greatest threat these Gay peeples pose to the world.  Not only do they steal our jobs and steal our Rainbow, they also steal the very words we speak!  That is right folks, they steal our language!  I mean, think about it.  You can't say, "Have a Gay old time anymore" without people wondering.  You can't say, "What a queer fellow" anymore without people making assumptions about the person you are talking about.  You can't even talk about going out to get a certain bundle of sticks without people yelling at you.  Just how many more poor innocent words have these peeples stolen from us? 
     So you see, Matt Whathisname was right.  Homosexuality is a threat to everything we hold dear and a threat to our very economy!  So rise up!  Take back your sparkly rainbows!  Take back very old words that have probably had many different meanings!  Take back our ancient straight (Greeks "Cough" Romans "Cough" Egyptians "Cough Cough")  Look at someone who is a bit off (Wait why is everyone looking at me?) and say without fear, "That Queer Fellow is having a truly Gay time of it all isn't he?"  With your help, this scourge can be wiped out...or at least the people trying to wipe it out won't be alone in their (Ahem) queer ways.

End of Rant

on Boats, Unions and Pies

http://news.yahoo.com/analysis-u-ports-drive-control-costs-leads-labor-060425219--finance.html

"When Charles Spencer became a crane operator at the Jacksonville Port Authority in Florida in 1971, it took at least a day for 200 dockworkers to unload 160-pound sacks of coffee from a cargo ship.  Now the same job takes 20 dockworkers, assisted by massive robots programmed to lift and stack containers, an hour."

" It all comes down to who gets the rewards from the investment the port operators have put into increasingly automated equipment: the companies and their shareholders or the unionized dockworkers."

     Those quotes from the above article show exactly what is wrong with so many unions and people in general.  Unions want more and more money to do jobs that are made easier and faster as time goes by with the aid of technology.  People and Unions in particular seem to have this attitude that "Sure everyone else spent a hell of a lot of money improving everything, but we deserve to get a cut of it even though all we do is work for them."  The answer to the question of who gets the rewards?  The Companies and their shareholders.  Simple as that.  If you want to get in on the booty, invest in the company.

"Florida is a "right to work" state, meaning employees can't be forced to pay union dues. Terminals not bound by the ILA contract work rules can be more flexible about starting times, the number of workers and pay rates.  It limits my opportunity to go out and compete for new business," Kelly said. "It's pretty much impossible because our labor agreement with the ILA makes us non-competitive."

      For the most part I am not anti-union.  I feel that unions in the past did a lot for Labor and for Industry.  However, when a company can longer be competitive because of Union Demands that far exceed the norm, then things need to change.  We think of ourselves as the greatest nation in the world, but when one looks beyond that delusional state, they see that we lag behind in everything from Education to Shipping.

     It is all well and good to want a bigger piece of the pie.  However, if you keep scarfing up more and more pie for yourself then eventually you won't have any more pie and the company that makes the pie will have been forced out of business.  Meanwhile, other people who have eaten smaller slices of pie and shared that pie will still eat and the companies that produce their pie will be going strong.

(Huh, suddenly I am hungry.)

End of Rant

Now available for NOOK readers!

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sometimes-its-okay-to-be-an-ass-rs-macleod/1114063522?ean=2940016166926

Job Protection? (Cough cough)

http://news.yahoo.com/school-bus-drivers-strike-york-city-145541174--finance.html

Last stop, nobody off!

     So the School Bus Drivers and Assistants in NYC are striking.  Their actions are forcing thousands of kids, many of them special needs totally dependent on the buses, to find alternate ways to get to school.  This is all happening during the freezing cold and wet of a NYC winter.  Now, one might ask (Or you can just read the article), exactly what reason are these intrepid workers giving for doing this?  Better working conditions?  Shorter working hours?  More pay?  Shiny new leather steering wheel covers?  Nope, they are not doing their jobs in a fight for Job Protection.

I'm sorry but your confusion must be phrased as a question.

     Huh, so these guys are going to strike and refuse to do their jobs putting thousands of kids at risk in an effort to make sure they don't lose their jobs?  Seems a little counter intuitive to me, but hey what do I know.  (Not too much, just ask my friends.)  The heart of the dispute is that NYC is shopping around for a new service provider for their School Bus System in order to cut costs.  The Union wants NYC to provide "Job Protection" or to promise the Union that its members will always and I do mean always have a job no matter what.

Brother can you spare a waffle and some bacon?

     Now, as a man who has been unemployed for nearly 4 years now, I am all for the idea of job protection.  Absolutely!  Give me a job where I am contractually promised to never lose my job no matter how sucky things get or how bad I do my job.  Sign me up right now!  However, in what I so jokingly call the "real world," that sort of thing just doesn't happen.  You take the job and you take your chances.  Simple as that and no force Union or otherwise should be able to say otherwise.  When that is tried, it is the Union's way of saying "Yeah, you pay us and it is your business/service, but you have absolutely no control over us."
    This strike is an excellent example.  IMNSHO (In My Not So Humble Opinion for those who missed previous abbreviations), walking off your job while quite literally leaving 1000s of kids out in the cold is grounds to be fired.  You want to negotiate, negotiate.  You want to bitch and whine?  Do it, but do your damned job.  I promise you that these drivers will find little moral support from the citizens of NYC, especially the poor father who says, ""It means transferring her to the car, breaking down the wheelchair, getting here, setting up the wheelchair, transferring her from the car, when normally she would just wheel right into the school bus," Curry said. "She's on oxygen. There's a lot of equipment that has to be moved and transferred also."
     Here is my final thought.  With so many hundreds of thousands of people currently unemployed, maybe NYC should just allow the striking drivers to continue their strike indefinitely and hire people who will actually do the job?  It is just an idea.

End of Rant