Warning contains offensive language and offending ideas!

 

          This may come as a surprise to many people, but I am very much Anti-Abortion.  Of course this statement, like so many of my statements comes with a caveat.  I believe that abortions can be allowed when the life of the mother is threatened or in cases of Incest and Rape.  I do not believe for a moment that simply because you were careless or simply uncaring that you should be allowed to terminate the life of a future person.  Sorry but you being inconvenienced  is not a reason to kill someone.  If at the end of nine months, you don't want to keep the wrinkled thing, then give it up for adoption.  There are a lot childless people out there who would love it.

          Now with this highly provocative and potentially angrifying statement made, let me expand upon my line of reasoning on the "Right to life" arguments being bounced around by so many people.  I personally feel that this argument is not being taken far enough to protect the lives of our future babies.  I mean sure, we need to ban abortion, but what about all the other ways these babies to come are being removed from the Gene Pool?

Cursing, curse?  get it?

          Okay first off, since we are interfering with women's rights by stopping contraceptives and  such, we  need to take this to its logical conclusion.  Since every time a woman goes through her menstrual cycle, she flushes at least one egg out of her system then we need to find a way to stop women from having their periods.  Since all woman are born with a limited number of eggs in their system, every time they flush one out that is one less potential person that can be born.  Not sure how this can be accomplished, but it needs to be done.  Never mind that a woman's menstrual cycle is necessary for her continued good health, we have to save those future voters...er people.

The guys will get the joke here.

     Moving on, let's cover the guys' area of no-nos.  First of all, We should outlaw vasectomies!  I mean, when a guy gets his tubes snipped, that is dooming untold future people to death.  Every single one of those precious sperm could become the next Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity.  A man has a responsibility to make sure that everyone of those future people has a chance to mess things up.  Of course the next logical step is to outlaw whacking off, well at least for men.  Every time some lonely teenage pays tribute to tissue paper, he is dooming a vast number future people.  I suggest a minimum of a lesser felony for each instance of "self abuse" punishable by at least a year in a male chastity belt.  Lesser punishments could be meted out for nocturnal emissions since this is involuntary.

I like bunnies and it seemed to fit, sue me

          Course following this chain of logic, good old Rick Insanetorum's War on Porn makes perfect sense.  I mean, how many potential human lives have been lost because some horny guy watched Cherry Forever and Dick Long do horribly nasty and inappropriate things to one another?  If we can ban all porn then we can save the future of humanity from certain doom!  So come on people, down with baby stoppers and up with over population!  Or as I so love to quote, "GO LEMMINGS GO!"