Well, yesterday I published my first blog hoping it would spark people to think and provoke meaningful conversation. Well it sparked one person to think and definitely provoked some conversation. Whether it is actually meaningful is up for debate. Never got hate “mail” before so it is a new experience for me.
This person, who choose remain anonymous, informed me that my attitude was rude and disrespectful towards others. He/she even went on to imply that it is beliefs like mine that cause people to go on killing sprees. Apparently dissatisfaction with service and complaining about it can be very unhealthy for other peoples' health.
Even though I tend to ignore stupidity since that only encourages it, I feel the need to answer to this one person just on the off chance that other people are misunderstanding what I mean. So here we go. Everyone ready because this might get a little bumpy.
Let's address the “rude” accusation first. My father, God rest his soul, was old school when it came to manners. He held doors open for ladies and he always tipped his hat to them. He taught all of us kids from day one to always be polite even when others aren't. I can never remember my father raising his voice to anyone more than 10 times in my entire life. (Heck probably half of those times were aimed at me.) My father pounded into us that manners matter.
Most of that stuck with me. I greet people when I pass them on the street. I shake hands and meet a person's eyes when I see them. I try to hold doors open for the ladies, but hey you guys are getting a lot faster than me and usually get there before me. In other words, I try and do like my father taught me all those years ago. I don't always succeed but I do try.
Demanding good service and complaining when the service is bad isn't about being rude. It is about getting what you deserve. It is about holding the people who provide our services accountable for the mistakes they made. It is about getting back in the truck and driving back to Wendy's when they put onions and pickles on your burger and not simply scraping it off. Unless the service people are being complete and utter jerks about it, this should always be done with civility. 9 times out of 10, the mistake was an honest one and is easily fixed.
Besides being bad manners, Rudeness and Anger are, more often than not, counter productive in this situations. You start yelling and screaming at the Manager/Server and they start getting defensive. They start justifying to themselves that what has happened isn't their fault and is in fact your fault. Any creature will fight when backed into a corner. However, when you approach even the most timid and frightened animal calmly while speaking reassuringly they will react well.
The S.I.O.T.B.A.A. Movement isn't about being rude or belligerent even though the situation may call for it occasionally. Remember that the world is a dangerous and violent place that could use all the politeness it can get.
Which neatly segues us into the second of Anonymous' complaints. He/she claims that complaining when things are bad and trying to fix them is what leads people to pick up guns and go on killing sprees. In this person's odd little world (Wonder what color the sky is), standing up for your rights leads to everything from fist fights to road rage. Anon feels that if we all just keep quiet and not get noticed, the world will be a better place.
Rambles and Rants about pretty much everything ranging from Bad Service to Political Correctness. Being offensive and making people go "Hmmm" for the better part of two decades.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Say what you mean, mean what you say...
I can sum up that attitude with just a few words. HORSE HOCKEY! (FYI Hockey was my dear Grandmother's word for poo. She firmly believed in cursing, she just didn't believe in using actual curse words.) The human race is one of the most belligerent, arguementative creatures on the face of the planet. History has shown time and time again that we do not play well with others. We distrust strangers, dislike non-strangers and are just generally hard to get along with.
Ever since the advent of Political Correctness (Which I am so against.), we have slapped on this veneer of civilization where we accept that other people are kind of weird, but that is okay. We have suppressed our feelings of antagonism and distrust. Well, that doesn't really work out to well. We hide our feelings way down deep inside until we can't take it any more then we go berserk.
During my freshman and Sophomore year at good old Goshen High School, we had a rifle club that met three days a week. Most of us had gun racks in our vehicles where the rifle stayed during classes and some of us carried the rifle to school in a case which sat in the principals office until after classes. Most of these guns were very high power and we carried copious amounts of ammunition, but not once did any one of us take the gun and unload into a group of students.
I will be the first to admit that driving has gotten much more dangerous with the advent of texting/calling while driving, but I can assure you that there were a lot of people just as bad when I was a teenager on the road. People still cut each other off, stole parking places and were just down right rude. I haven't made an extensive study, but I am betting that you could look at that time and find very few if any cases of road rage.
So if all of this is true, what has changed? Why does a man wait all day outside of his garage and then shoot someone because the neighbor's car occasionally blocks his way out? Why do kids take their parent's gun to school and suddenly kill people?
I don't have all the answers. Heck, I might not have any of them since all of this babble is just my opinion, but I do have some ideas. As the world races to the point where there will be too many people and too little resources, we are being forced into closer and closer proximity to each other. There are no more places to escape to and we are starting to realize that we are trapped with each other on this tiny planet. Anger, prejudice and distrust can't be avoided.
Because we are taught almost from birth to suppress our fears and distrust of others, these feelings simmer under the surface for years until something sets them off. When that bomb goes off inside of us, we react the same way we have reacted since humanity first came into being. We strike out, violently and angrily at the thing that frightens us. It is not until later, once the rage has past, that we fully realize what we have done. By then, it is too late.
We are a violent people with a history filled with blood. We have spent more time at war than at peace. This idea that we have to force our feelings down and hide them away just makes it worse. Be polite if you can. Respect other peoples' rights always, even if they offend you. Do everything you can to make the world a better place, but if something honks you off tell someone. If the waiter at your favorite restaurant gets your order wrong, let someone know. Heck if someone cuts you off in traffic while simultaneously talking on their cell while trying to type in the laptop on the seat beside them, honk your horn. Better yet, call 911 and report them. A $200.00 ticket is sure to ruin their day.
But while you are doing all of this, try to remember that the waiter might have a sick kid at home and he is distracted. The person who messed up your dry cleaning might have a really horrible cold and just simply isn't all there. The person driving might...Nah, I'll leave that one alone. Complain and try to make things right. Remind people that they need to do their job, but always try to do it with all the grace and civility you can manage. After all, we all have to live with each other.
Ever since the advent of Political Correctness (Which I am so against.), we have slapped on this veneer of civilization where we accept that other people are kind of weird, but that is okay. We have suppressed our feelings of antagonism and distrust. Well, that doesn't really work out to well. We hide our feelings way down deep inside until we can't take it any more then we go berserk.
During my freshman and Sophomore year at good old Goshen High School, we had a rifle club that met three days a week. Most of us had gun racks in our vehicles where the rifle stayed during classes and some of us carried the rifle to school in a case which sat in the principals office until after classes. Most of these guns were very high power and we carried copious amounts of ammunition, but not once did any one of us take the gun and unload into a group of students.
I will be the first to admit that driving has gotten much more dangerous with the advent of texting/calling while driving, but I can assure you that there were a lot of people just as bad when I was a teenager on the road. People still cut each other off, stole parking places and were just down right rude. I haven't made an extensive study, but I am betting that you could look at that time and find very few if any cases of road rage.
So if all of this is true, what has changed? Why does a man wait all day outside of his garage and then shoot someone because the neighbor's car occasionally blocks his way out? Why do kids take their parent's gun to school and suddenly kill people?
I don't have all the answers. Heck, I might not have any of them since all of this babble is just my opinion, but I do have some ideas. As the world races to the point where there will be too many people and too little resources, we are being forced into closer and closer proximity to each other. There are no more places to escape to and we are starting to realize that we are trapped with each other on this tiny planet. Anger, prejudice and distrust can't be avoided.
Because we are taught almost from birth to suppress our fears and distrust of others, these feelings simmer under the surface for years until something sets them off. When that bomb goes off inside of us, we react the same way we have reacted since humanity first came into being. We strike out, violently and angrily at the thing that frightens us. It is not until later, once the rage has past, that we fully realize what we have done. By then, it is too late.
We are a violent people with a history filled with blood. We have spent more time at war than at peace. This idea that we have to force our feelings down and hide them away just makes it worse. Be polite if you can. Respect other peoples' rights always, even if they offend you. Do everything you can to make the world a better place, but if something honks you off tell someone. If the waiter at your favorite restaurant gets your order wrong, let someone know. Heck if someone cuts you off in traffic while simultaneously talking on their cell while trying to type in the laptop on the seat beside them, honk your horn. Better yet, call 911 and report them. A $200.00 ticket is sure to ruin their day.
But while you are doing all of this, try to remember that the waiter might have a sick kid at home and he is distracted. The person who messed up your dry cleaning might have a really horrible cold and just simply isn't all there. The person driving might...Nah, I'll leave that one alone. Complain and try to make things right. Remind people that they need to do their job, but always try to do it with all the grace and civility you can manage. After all, we all have to live with each other.
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Rebel, if you have never received hate mail, you ain't writing enough. I thrive on hate mail. I get death threats too. Last one was, mmmm, 3-4 months ago? I just love it when people who don't even know which end of a gun to hold threaten me.
ReplyDeleteAs for engaging the stupid people, don't. Nothing torques 'em more than denying they exist. Ohyezohyez. But you gonna have to get used to hate mail.
Learn to enjoy it. Consider the power you have over people who write hate mail to you.